Working without a Net

Last Monday I finally had my access port removed..for those of you unfamiliar with this little gizmo it's full name is a Central Venous Access Port used for delivering chemotherapy over a long period of time. It is placed under the skin of your chest and has a line that goes directly into your heart. Having one saves the veins from breaking down over the chemo process. I had mine for six long years. They (the doctors) used it for almost three years. They (the doctors) asked me to consider leaving the line in in case I needed more chemotherapy. Now this never sounded very positive to me but whatever..I am pretty easy going. I was supposed to have the line flushed (cleaned out) every month. The last couple of times the port was not acting right...they thought maybe, after all this time, it was breaking down. The ports are only supposed to be in there for two years and mine was holding up really well. So, with the invitation set to "take her out" I was ready. Surgery happened with out much hoopla (except that I woke up in the middle of the procedure but no pain so they kept going).
I was not prepared for the feelings that would rise up from the departure of my old friend. It was like a life line to me, I guess. If, God forbid, I have to have any more treatment I will have a new one installed but for now...I kind of feel like I am working with out a net.....wish me luck.