Well...It's been over 6 months and the world is still dealing with a pandemic of epic proportions. Most of the world is still in lock down. You cannot eat inside a restaurant. You can eat outside in some places but with temps in the 100's outdoor dining can be unpleasant. You can get your hair cut finally but you still cannot have your nails done inside. Sitting in a bucket of cool water in a parking lot, having your pedicure is less than relaxing. This all sounds petty but it is the whole flavor of drama that has come with the pandemic. You MUST wear a mask when going anywhere outside your home. Hey, that is fine with me. I have been wearing a mask at work most of my life. You have to stay six feet apart from people in lines at the stores. I am fine with that too. People tend to get right up your ass most of the time. This is ok. You cannot gather in crowds more than 12 and they cannot be people you are not in contact with on a regular basis. I never do...so ok. No movie theaters, no concerts, the third degree when entering a doctors office. Ok..The level of disregard for human life is not something I am OK with. There are many people who won't wear a mask...they won't stand six feet away from me...they insist on gathering in large, unmasked parties. It has been six months people..if you would do what was asked of you this would be over a whole lot faster. Ok..this rant is over..
My dear mom fell several weeks ago and fractured her back. It took three of us to get her into the car and to the hospital, all the while Mom telling us she was in pain but there was nothing wrong. Dementia is a terrible thing. I have managed to care for my mom for 40 plus years. For the first 20 of the years things were great. She has always been a little quirky but overall a joy. 20 or so years ago I started noticing changes. These changes were subtle at first. When you live with someone you often overlook the odd behaviors. The last 7 years have been harder...and these past 4 years since Chuck died have been awful. Now, I fear I can no longer care for her. She is in a care facility now and it is my hope that she can happily stay there. She was there 2 years ago after she fractured her hip and did not want to come home. At this point I am pretty sure she has no idea what her home was..or who I am.. Because of the Covid restrictions no visitors are allowed. I get updates frequently and from what I hear she is doing as well as can be expected at 95 with a broken back and dementia. I just want to tell her I love her. That's all. I am struggling with so many emotions now..fear, isolation, regret that I could not handle her care. My prayers are for her and me and the world.
